Primarily Crap

Exxon Mobile Corp has made 8.4 billion dollars in the first quarter of this year. That’s so much damn money that it’s easier to write out “8.4 billion” then to try to figure out how many zeros that is.

I’m paying more for gas right now (almost $3.00 a gallon) then I’ve ever paid in my life (as is everyone else), and the world’s largest oil company just pulled in the fifth highest quarterly profit for any public company in history. I just don’t know what to make of that.

I do know this though; it’s been quite some time since anyone has complained to me that they pay too much for their cable.

This is the dream I had last night.

I was watching the news. On the 7th anniversary of the Columbine Tragedy, the high school suffered another one. Authorities had determined that everyone had gotten out of the school this time and made it to safety except for one student, who was still inside and being held hostage. As near as they could tell, the culprit was a chicken.

A standoff ensued and was now being covered live. The chicken was not talking, it had not made any demands and no one knew what its agenda was or where it had even come from.

After a couple of hours it seemed as though the chicken had had enough. Apparently, it was not interested in giving in peacefully though, because instead of giving up the hostage and surrendering, it decided to make a break for it. It left the hostage inside and came charging out the front door headed towards the crowd, where, unfortunately it was gunned down by police.

The school was shut down for a couple of days and grief counseling was again offered to students and families. The only one who used it this time was the student, who was having a very difficult time coming to grips with the fact that he was a complete loser for being held hostage by a chicken.

After 39 years of living within a mile of the Boston Marathon route, I finally made it out to my first one yesterday. My friend Chris, who comments here as CC, was running in his first one. He was running to raise money for the Aids Action Committee, and we went out to cheer him on around the 21-mile mark.

If I’m reading the website correctly it looks like he finished in 4 hours, 5 minutes, and 52 seconds, an impressive feat.

CONGRATULATIONS CHRIS! NICE JOB!

I’d also like to extend my congratulations to everyone else who ran it, no matter how long it took them, and those who had the guts to try it, no matter how far they got.

This being my first marathon, I have to say I was not only amazed by the runners, but also by the people supporting the runners.

The spot we were in, right at the bottom of Heartbreak Hill, was packed with people, even 4 hours after the race began. We were there for about an hour, and during that time we were surrounded by people who were maniacally cheering on complete strangers.

It’s one thing to go to a ballgame and route for your team. Sure these people are pretty much strangers, but we know their names, know a little bit about them, and know that they play for the team we are rooting for.

In this case, just about every runner is a face in the crowd. Someone they have never seen before and will never see again. There were other people like us there, people who were waiting for a particular runner to come by so they could show them some support. But there were hundreds of people who were just rooting for everyone that went by.

It was constant cheering the entire time we were there. I’ve been at Fenway during a World Series and I’m not even sure the cheering during that was as consistent and unfaltering as what I heard during that hour yesterday.

I imagine that it’s like this along the entire 26 miles, and hearing that for the entire run must be an incredible boost for the runners. So, regardless of their motives for being there, they are there, and I have to believe that there are runners who finished when they might not have, finished faster than they might have, or maybe got a lot further than they would have, because these people were out there doing their thing, and they deserve some credit for that.

My hat goes off to all the marathon supporters.

Can anyone please tell me why so many people who are most likely reasonably intelligent and good-natured, become completely ignorant and inconsiderate fucktards when they get behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle?

I finally got around to watching the Fantastic Four movie last night and here’s my review:

That movie totally sucked. Jessica Alba is really hot.

Is KFC (formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken) running a family restaurant or an adult nightclub?

Is it just me, or is there something not right about the names of their meals?

I can go into a KFC establishment and order a “Strip” or a “Breast”. I can have a seat and order a “Laptop”. If that’s not going to be enough for me I can go ahead and get myself the “Zinger Works”. If I’m still not satisfied I can go for the “Extreme”. And if I’m feeling particularly kinky that night I can just order myself up a “Twister” or even a “Twister Combo”.

KFC, they’re not just fried chicken anymore.