Primarily Crap

I have some issues with this term. The first one is that I believe most people who say it to me do not actually mean it. It’s just something they say to end my transaction with them and they really don’t give a crap how the rest of my day goes. I don’t believe in saying things that I don’t really mean so let’s be honest here, you don’t care how the rest of my day goes so don’t tell me to have a nice one. If you feel you must say something at the end of our transaction then a simple thanks or goodbye will suffice.

Then there is the minority who actually do mean it, or at least claim that they do. If this is the case, then what exactly do you mean by it. If you’re someone who I see on some sort of regular basis, whether it be the pharmacist, the guy at the gas station, the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker, and you’re telling me to have a nice day, then what about all the days until my next visit? You want me to have a nice day on that particular day that I see you, but is that the only day that should be nice? Should all the rest of my days until I see you next be shitty? You might as well just say “have a shitty week” because that’s what you’re implying.

And what about people who say it to me that I’m never going to see again? These people are basically telling me to have a shitty life. They may as well just tell me to fuck off, at least then I will know exactly what they mean.

So the next time you find yourself about to tell someone to have a nice day, think twice about exactly what it is that you actually want to say.

According to this article, the use of certain illegal practices to get more mileage out of gas tanks is up.

People are turning off the engine to coast down hills, overinflating tires to decrease rolling resistance against pavement, and the craziest one of all, tailgating big rigs in hopes of cutting wind resistance and being pulled along in a truck’s wake.

Not only are all of these things illegal, they’re dangerous as well, and you’re not only risking your own life but those of everyone around you.

My advice to those people: if you’re going to do something against the law in order to try to save money on gas, then just steal it, although I personally don’t condone it, at least that way no one is going to be physically hurt.

According to this article, Boy George has been denied a visa to the U.S. and will not be able to go on with his planned tour over here this summer. That is a damn shame.

The article also mentioned the reason he was denied a visa. He is awaiting trial in London on charges that he imprisoned a man in his home. You know there’s a book coming from that- “I Was Boy George’s Sex Slave”. 

I don’t know though. On the one hand there is a lot of money to be made by writing a book about your experiences as Boy George’s prisoner, but on the other hand, dude, you were held a prisoner by Boy George, do you really want people to know that?

I’m currently re-reading some Sherlock Holmes stories. I have all the stories in a two volume collection that I’ve owned for around 15 years now, so the pages have yellowed a little. Kyla was looking at one of the books last night and here is how the conversation went:

Kyla- Daddy can I read this?

Me- Yes, but the stories were written around 100 years ago and you have to understand that things were much different back then.

Kyla- I can tell, the pages are yellow now.

According to this article, last week Princess Eugenie, daughter of the Duke of York, was found running around naked on the campus of her boarding school with a bunch of friends, and some people weren’t happy about it. According to this article, she recently showed up at the Ascot Racetrack wearing a mini-skirt that was banned because it was too short, and she caught some flack for it.

This poor girl can’t win. She decides not to wear any clothes at all and people complain. She decides to put some clothes on and people complain.

Poor little princess.

I was wondering about this phrase. I understand the reference, but what does it actually mean?

I get that horses have much bigger bladders than us and when they pee they pee a lot more because of that, but there has to be more to it. I mean, if that were it, then why not “pee like an elephant”, their bladders must be even bigger. And why a race horse and not just any old horse?

After doing some research and reading a bunch of different, and similar, answers from a bunch of different sources, none of them covering all of it, I believe that the definitive answer in my own words is as follows:

The average adult human male produces 1 or 2 quarts of urine per day. The average horse produces about 1.5 to 2 gallons of urine per day. When a horse pees, it generally lets out 1 to 2 quarts at a time, so basically, a horse is getting out as much urine in one peeing as I would be getting out in one day. That’s a lot of freakin’ pee.

As far as the race horse aspect goes, a horse can experience nosebleeds when it is overexerted, such as while running hard during a race. In order to prevent these nose bleeds, many horses are administered a drug called Lasix. A side effect of this drug is increased urine production.

In the days leading up to a race, the drug is administered in doses. As it makes its way into the horses body, urine production is increased and the horse produces a significantly greater volume of urine than the 1.5 to 2 gallons it normally produces.

So, although horses in general pee a lot more than we do, race horses pee even more than that.

And there you have it.

Primarily Crap- providing informative answers to some of life’s most vital questions since January 2006.

Unfortunately there were a few minor incidents of property destruction, so a few morons had to ruin what might have been an otherwise peaceful championship celebration in the city of Boston last night. You figured it had to happen, in a city this big, there are always a few dumbasses who manage to slip past police crowd control, but for the most part, it was a good celebration and I have to wonder just how much of that pertains to the fact that most of the college crowd is gone for the summer. Probably all of it, or at least most of it anyway.

I just don’t get it. I did some dumb things when I was a kid, didn’t we all? But the stuff that usually goes on during a championship celebration is beyond me.

Why is it that, right before a big game is about to be played, Kevin Garnett, Tom Brady, or Jason Varitek has to come on to remind people, “Hey, there’s a good chance we might win a championship tonight. I just want to tell you that if we do, please don’t go out and set a building on fire, flip a car over, or pummel somebody into unconsciousness. Thank you.”

Congrats to the Celts. Let’s keep the city intact tonight. No one do anything stupid please.

As the gas prices continue to rise it seems that more and more people are resorting to stealing it, and some are even getting away with it. I do not condone stealing gas, or stealing anything for that matter, but the gas prices are such bullshit that I’m not entirely opposed to it either.

What I should say is that I’m not opposed to people paying a “fair” price for gas. I’m willing to pay $2 a gallon, maybe even $2.50, I think that’s fair. In other words, I think that if you’re going to fill up your 15 gallon tank and drive off, then you should at least leave 30 bucks for it.

A while back I wrote this entry about dead people who are making more money than me. I’m not sure what’s worse- dead people who make more money than me, or dogs that have more money than me.

A judge just determined that 10 million of the 12 million dollar trust fund left to Leona Helmsley’s dog will be donated to charity, leaving the dog with a measly 2 million. This dog just lost 83% of it’s fortune and it still has more money in it’s savings account than I’ll ever have.