Primarily Crap

Jesus Christ is born and there are three kings who decide to travel across the country to find him, pay tribute to him and bring him gifts. If you’re a king it means you’ve gotta be loaded and you should be able to afford some pretty extravagant gifts. The first guy goes deep into his vaults and busts out the gold. Not very imaginative, but hey, gold is what our entire monetary system is based on, so it’s just as good as cash, and in my opinion you can’t beat cash for a gift. 

The other two guys stop at Yankee Candle on their way to the stable. Seriously, frankincense and myrrh? What the hell kind of gift is that? You might as well just pick up a gift card. Or at least bring him the pine tree candle so in case he has a fake tree he can make it smell real. What a couple of cheap bastards.